Tom was given this book and more meds to treat his symptoms all of which are caused by more than 3 decades of torture here are his extensive thoughts regarding the book he was given:
* this is written in his own words using some colloquial language
** no offense to the writer of said book just pointing out this is not the place for this book
A Scalding Critique of Psych Book Review:
and the phony “treatment
programs” provided ADX prisoners
By Tom Silverstein
Ms. Moody Psych Dept.
09/05-2013
This paper is for the
psychology programming credit offered if we (prisoners) submit a1-2 paper essay
on a book the unit psychologist recommends for us to read to supposedly “help
with what ails” me/us.
Ms. Moody, my assigned
Psychologist, sent me “Wherever you go there you are” (true title) by John
Kabot-Zinn. After discussing my psychological deterioration; she said that she
was unable to help with my more severe ailments; But would refer me to
psychiatrist for psych med. Which she did; My Fluoxetine was doubled from one 20mg cap to two w/ the same result
as the one. It doesn’t do anything but increase my lackadaisicalness. She, however, assured me that she can help through her and me discussing my
other issues:
i.e.; they refer to it
dubiously as “Anxiety” like a nervous teenager going on his first date; I know
it’s caged rage , panic attacks, insomnia,
memory loss, loss of concentration, extreme depression, etc etc; all intensified
by staff harassment i.e.; withholding mail for weeks, refusing to allow visits
with close friends that I’ve corresponded with
and called the past 10-30 years, reason given I didn’t know them prior
to incarceration: 1975, even though they qualify otherwise. As do I for the
exemption to the prior incarceration rule, because: 1. I’ve not had a non-legal
visit in over 5 years 2. I live out of state 3. Have been in prison 38 years,
so most folks I knew are dead or no longer in touch. I’m haunted by doing 3
Life sentences + 45 years and will never see the wonderful friends I love and
miss very much! Nor will I ever leave ADX; except in a body bag; along with all
the rest that spores from this cesspool of inhumanity, that masquerades as
administrators/medical staff/psyche dept. /religious ministries/educators, who
constantly inflict us in one way or the another.
I wont elaborate on the
sadistic Sadist who feed off of other people’s misery. I only want to elucidate
why Ms. Moody sent aforementioned book. After reading it, I expressed to her; I
relate to a few parts (I will elaborate on this later)but for the most part it
left me empty and feeling more discouraged, frustrated, depressed, hopeless and
helpless! Because it is akin to giving a dying cancer patient a Bible (of any
denomination) assuring them; all they need to do is pray and believe, God will
magically heal them. Unfortunately after reading, praying in earnest, the poor
trusting fool drops dead! Then the faithful, unwilling to concede their hocus
pocus failed and the self righteous blame the deceased for not believing in
their archaic dogma sincerely enough. Like The Boppers do and sadly believe they can torture us with negligible
psychological damage.
EXAMPLES:
My RAGE attacks make me want
to bang my head into a wall, tear shit up, scream bloody murder, shave my head;
it effects my sleep, state of mind, body, what brief contact I have with others
etc; I long to end this living nightmare once and for all.
On page 37 of the book the
author suggests what the reader (me)
should do in a manic destructive state I should try: Recognize the bloom of the
present moment in one’s daily meditation practice I do, but these 4 walls
swallow me whole mind, body and soul; the less it helps. The book says “…if you
are up early in the morning; try going outside and looking (a sustained,
mindful attentive looking) at the stars at the moon, at the dawning light when
it comes feel the air, the cold the warmth ( a sustained mindful attentive
feeling) realize the world around you is sleeping, remember when you see the
stars that you are looking back in time millions of years. The past is present
now and here”
Perhaps I could smoke what he
obviously does; we could surf the same bitchin’
wave link dude. But I can’t: Because I am confined to a keyless cell 24/7 and
have been for 34 years. This is the cause of what ails me! I feel inept,
moronic to not comprehend books like this. Ms. Moody said she read it, so I
assume she grasped this High fluting mumbo jumbo and thought I’d be able to
uncork the elusive Jinni concealed in the bottle, between
its mystical pages and have
my wish for relief from this asylum of insanity and torture, granted. Disastrously, I’m unable to decipher its
secret passages. Maybe I’m not praying
and believing whole heartedly, or not gullible enough to actually discover
the deliverance promised.
The book is peppered with
mind boggling quotes; page 101 says: “What lies behind us and what lies before
us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us”~ Oliver Wendell Holmes
I contest: Just because
Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote this does not stop my hallucination,
ruminations or lethargy. Here’s more, perchance you are brighter than me and
can decode the healing verses hidden within that quote: to give you an idea of
the treatment received at ADX. There
is no resolve; just psycho babble,
psyche drugs and books*. “What is needed is to learn afresh, to observe and
discover for ourselves the meaning of wholeness”~ David Bohm Wholeness and the Implicate Order pg.
229
“Wholeness” does not stop
my headaches, foggy thoughts, blurry vision, the voices I hear, the walls from
breathing and closing in!
* This is like locking someone
in an ice cold freezer then telling them they can stop shaking, turning blue
and getting frostbite; if they think nice warm thoughts sincerely; and pop a
couple anti-depressant pills daily. However, the pious parasites giving lip-service,
masquerading at ADX as psychologists; who do not dare enter the same
torture chambers they preside over, like vultures drooling at the sight of our
misery and psychological decay; they perch outside our encasements like amused
zoo visitors waiting to see what we’ll do next, while instructing us how best
to suffer what they have never experienced.
“I am large: I contain
multitudes” ~ Walt Whitman Leaves of Grass.
229
God for him;
Contain multitudes of what? Bullshit? I am literally buried alive in a small cell
24/7! So what’s the point?
“…their eyes their ancient
glittering eyes, are gay.” ~W.B.Yeats; Lapiz Lazuli p. 270
My eyes are damaged after
suffering 24/7 florescent lighting for 25 years non-stop; while trapped in a
cell.* So what’s the point? And what would W.B. Yeats or Walt Whitman know
about 34 years isolation?
There are more of these elitist’s
platitudes, surely you get my common sense point; without having to decipher
its meaning between nonsensical verbiage
Here’s a couple I in a way
relate to:
“Ordinary men hate solitude
[no shit Sherlock]
But the master makes use of
it [How exactly?]…
…embracing his aloneness
realizing he is one with the whole universe’* [Whoopee for him. But how does
that realization stop my memory deterioration?]
*Lao-Tzu, Tao-Te-Ching 227
As a lifelong student of
eastern philosophy and pseudo practioner of Mahayana Buddhism and graduate of a
12 year correspondence course in Siddha Yoga and currently completing their 4 year masters course; I am familiar
with the legendary Lao-Tzu; founder of Taoism (6th century B.C.) and
suspect he didn’t need a Ph-D in psychology to realize not all are “Masters”
and solitude has a negative effect on “Ordinary men”
I assume even a legendary
“Master” chokes on a forced fed diet of solitude after 34 years.
He wisely makes the distinction:
When a person “chooses solitude vs. “forced” into it. Unfortunately, for us
(Federal prisoners 2013) the B.O.P.’s so-called “penal professionals” believe one cage fits all; after branding us the worst of the worst .; so with the
exploitive arm of their lackeys (psyche dept.). They hold us down, while B.O.P.
officials strip us of our individuality, dignity, sanity, loved ones, along
with everything else meaningful to us…Then leaving us with nothing left to live
for…They herd us into isolated stalls like unconscious cattle, until we rot to
death or parole!
It is said the definition of
insanity is repeating the same failed thing; and expecting a different
result.
The Evidence of Psychological Harm and
Suffering resulting from solitary confinement dates back over 100 years. In
remedial, the Supreme Court examined solitary confinement in **Colorado.
* and my eyes are damaged
from not seeing further than a few feet.
** ADX is in Colorado
134 U. S.160 (1890) in
Reaching that holding; the court recounted “serious objections” to solitary
confinement; “[a] considerable number of prisoners fell, after even a short
confinement, into a semi-fatuous condition from which it impossible to arouse
them; and others became violently insane; others committed suicide; those who
withstood the ordeal were not generally reformed [surprise, surprise] and
in most cases they did not recover sufficient mental activity to be of
subsequent service to the community” [surprise, surprise] Id.AT168
(Rovner L. & Glidden B.
2013. D.C. NO. 1;7-CV-02471p.34)
How is it: That in 2013; its
(indefinite isolation) acceptable and considered by the enforcers of it and
their psych lackeys to be less severe and devastating than it was 100 years
ago? Its evidence that the current penal intelligence is constipated, since
they have not progressed in the past century; which demands inquiry into the
incompetence of B.O.P.’s hierarchy that sadistically cling to medieval
psychological torture for imprisonment. If this is their best/only solution;
then it is vital they be replaced immediately and B.O.P. be dragged, if
necessary, kicking and screaming into the twenty- first century.
The contested methodology (by
people of conscience : without an invested interest ie; job security and/or sadistic gratification) compares to
those folks who condemn waterboarding and formidably see it for what it is: Torture!
while its proponents deem it “enhanced interrogation technique”.
a wife batterer; that kicks poor defenseless
wife’s two front teeth and when she screams spitting blood, in pain he
arrogantly orders “shut up, it doesn’t hurt…I don’t feel a thing”
Jon Kabat-Zinn shars his meditation retreat experience with
his readers;
“ I loved these retreats because they enabled me to put
everything in my life on hold; go off some place
pleasant and peaceful in the countryside ; get taken care of and live an
extremely simplified contemplative life. Where the only agenda was to practice,
practice, practice” p. 247
This book reveals their
(psych staff) insensitivity, naivety, incompetence malfunction, malpractice,
and they plainly do not know their subjects or what we endure and suffer!
I’d fell like an idiot giving
this crap to anyone isolated; as an actual “treatment”
to “help” what ails them.
Much less; someone like me; a three time lifer, isolated indefinitely, with absolutely no reprieve from this governmental
inferno! Perhaps, if I could kick back at a “pleasant and peaceful retreat” of
my choosing that I “love,” in a “countryside escape” from the tyranny and
trauma endured 24/7, 365 day a year, for decades on end and just watch the
sunset; contemplating mindfulness, I too could project
the illusionary Wherever you go there you are concept,
with a smile and skip in my step, while whistling Dixie. Everything the
writer put “on hold”, is exactly what I miss!
It has been years since seeing or touching my children, what’s left of
my family/friends. Nor have I seen/felt/smelled
grass/dirt/trees/ocean/mountains/had a job or felt a sense of self reliance,
accomplishment, work ethic responsibility… because.
ADX and its unconscionable
overlords prohibit it. Consequently, crippling people and denying us from the
fruit that comes from working. We are intentionally and maliciously yoked to
shackles and disenfranchised. How exactly a man pull himself up by his boot
straps; when he’s not allowed any? This system is rotten to the core… made so
by moronic kooks who are clueless; no amount of sugar will fix it. It must be
trashed and replaced with fresh ingredients, recipe, and most importantly legitimate
chefs with actual experience/credentials; instead of an incestuous blood/clan
connection.
Are there criteria or
experience required before B.O.P. hires a psychologist, I wonder, or do they just answer Help Wanted ads? Is any experience
required? They must submit in blind obedience and be willing to condone to
whatever the B.O.P. puppeteers deem their legitimate “professional correctional
judgments” I say this: because, when I ask a B.O.P.
Psychologist, no matter which
joint I’m in; why don’t they intervene or have a more significant input i.e.;
helping to eliminate/alleviate the obvious harm, damage, psychosis
ADX/isolation inflicts on its victims. (This
is apparent to psychologists not on the B.O.P. payroll, who actually
study the side effects of this barbaric means of torture) They inevitably
blink, dumbstruck and stare like a mannequin who hasn’t been programmed to ever
question Master’s “professional correctional judgment”; they reiterate the
standard pass-the-buck response. They are “powerless” due to the chain of
command. To anyone that knows what control freaks, sadists and paranoid
parasites are like, it’s not surprising the “custody” tentacle of the headless
monster controls all other appendages; they then arrogantly and ignorantly
ridicule progressive methodologies, for their failed punish and isolate
malfeasance.
I’ve only got a 10th
grade education; however, am I alone
finding it bazaar that well-educated psychologists take orders from C.O.s
9correction officers) with a high school certificate?
According to my Oxford encyclopedic
English dictionary, 1995: psychology is “the scientific study of the human mind
and its functions, esp. those affecting behavior in a given context”
My dictionary doesn’t have
the definition for “C.O.” since it is a paradox. Prison guards do not “correct”
anyone. It is a title they themselves created
to mask their true identity; defined as “guard” means Keep watch by (a
door etc.) to control entry or exit, supervise prisoners etc… A zoo Keeper is not
called when a zoo animal needs
medical attention, they call a Veterinarian. In this ass-backward penal system
the Vets refer to the zookeepers.
Then can not figure out why it’s a disaster, so the accuse” the worst of the
worst” and continue with more of what makes people “worse”, those who should
know better, blindly sit idly by watching the fiasco, and collecting their 30
pieces of silver year after year, after year, after year... Causing me to
question their integrity, professional ethics; if the B.O.P.’s psychologist
intentionally fabricate these bogus “treatment” ploys to conceal their covert
compliance, attempting to justify their job security at the government’s
feeding trough…Since both their self-interest depends on keeping this nightmare
full of human livestock; while ignoring and dismissing historical analysis-
evidence of the injurious effects that their exploitation has on us… buried
alive in these cement coffins!
This clear disconnection between
what psychologist are taught in school; pertaining to free persons mental
concerns a causations and means of cures and treatments; differ substantially
from incarcerated souls and those of us driven stir crazy!
I can’t unlock the cell door
obviously and stroll outside in my fluffy slippers, pipe in hand to gaze up at
the stars, take a deep breath and feel a sense of peace and happiness. I can’t
even see the stars or moon from my cell window. I am forbidden any kind of
small retreat from this reality except for 2 15 minute calls a month and a
monthly or so conversation when the psychologist speaks to me, that is it.
Otherwise I’m stuck in a small suffocating box car cell with my madness 24/7!
So what may help free people doesn’t necessarily apply to those of us
suffering in isolation! Which prisoncrats
that profit from our pain and misery are quick to dismiss because a guard
pushes a food tray in a slot in the cell door 3 times daily and other B.O.P. “personnel”
make weekly/monthly rounds; if that…Which consist of brief “drive-bys” as they periodically walk
past the cells and periodically glance in, this flash is not interaction but
ADX/bureau of Prisons enforcers say based on these drive-bys we are not
isolated. Perhaps psychically speaking : Some of us exhibit clinical symptoms…
disorders, that can be treated/cured traditionally etc… But oddly, the
psychologists fail to acknowledge the elephant in the cell, by ignoring our
24/7 isolation. Ignoring the isolated cell, the fact we’ve been moved far from our
families so it makes visiting them basically impossible the limited calls, etc.
When the judge sentenced me to life in prison; he did not say to be served in
24/7 isolation, cross country and s permanently alienated from family and
friends and prohibited from ever visiting anyone I didn’t know from that day
on.
Those devastating
implications are from prisoncrats without
a clue what makes people tick. They are guards; so that’s all they know how to
do keep us locked up and watch us like overpaid babysitters, which a chimpanzee
can do. So it is no surprise they lack a more humane and workable way of
confining their human livestock without torturing us.
Their knowledge of their
livestock is so inept, they are either clueless or so diabolical that it’s intentional.
Ether way, is it surprising people are less controllable, after being stripped
of everything meaningful and exiled to a hell hole filled with long term
prisoners who also have nothing left to lose?
The psychologists here should
at least realize, regardless of how inexperienced and incompetent they are the
professionals supposedly learned “the scientific study of the mind and it’s
functions especially those affecting behavior in a given context” They would
know how non-productive 24/7 psychological torture is: regardless of how B.O.P.
label us or justify it, no matter what ploy i.e.; pills, injections, books, TV
programs, lobotomies prescribed we’re still entombed, condemned indefinitely.
One size treatment does not fit all it’s perplexing, if it’s not a sham
that ADX psychologists sincerely believe that they can give psychologically
tortured men their placebo “treatments” that will magically alleviate the pain,
caged rage, hostility, frustration that
continues to manifest from harassments and hardships endured for decades and
counting. How is a placebo magical cure supposed to revive our sense of
hopefulness, wellness and family, when those pulling your strings assure us
every six months that due to whatever landed us here, no matter how long ago and
no matter how well we behave we’ll always be considered a threat and never
leave here; when the psyche department admits their emphasis is to cower to the
hand that feeds them and concedes to their impotency? What does the psyche
dept. have for damage already done? Aside from bowing to the status quo and
rubber stamping B.O.P.’s denial of liability for harm imposed on us; will going
outside looking at the stars, nullify the past 34 years entombment? Either way
sham or sincere; we (prisoners) lose and are forced to suffer a failed system.
not that
it was easy, mind you. There was often a lot of physical pain from sitting
still for that many hours. And that was nothing compared to the emotional pain
which would sometimes surface as the mind and body became more still and less
busy--page 247
Jon Kabat-Zinn Ph.D. is a
meditation teacher, scientist and writer.
He is professor of medicine emeritus University of Massachusetts
medical school where he was founding executive director (1995) of the center for mindfulness in medicine,
health care society. And founder of its world renowned stress reduction clinic
(page 281)
It is very interesting what
the well educated medical/meditation/professor/author experienced in his
desired solitude, likely at an expensive retreat of his choosing where he felt
“pain” from the idleness. What would he likely experience if he were forced
into a cell for 34 years and assured he’d die there?
No one truly knows its taste
until they actually take a bite; the gut wrenching wrath of solitary
confinement!
Which he freed himself of
after a few hours? I am unable to leave my physical emotional pain even when I
can not bear it another second!
Imagine the experience would
differ if he was locked without choice in solitude no aesthetic surroundings, hated by the keepers, no visits,
in four enclosed walls indefinitely 24/7! Particularly in my case for I am
singled out for enhanced isolation*… Even within the confines of ADX (a locked
down penitentiary) I’m forbidden to even communicate with other prisons or be
around them i.e., when I'm in my dog cage recreation no other prisons can be out
in theirs. I bet none could imagine it! In the free world what do you have to
compare to three decades of psychological torture in isolation? So how can the
psyche dept. begin to “treat” what ails me with “Wherever you go there You Are?”
* alienation and persecution
He is absolutely correct
There is often a LOT of
physical pain just from sitting still for that many hours, bed sores are deadly
when ignored, dismissed, unattended and left to fester; while those causing it
are more concerned, quibbling over deniability and protecting their own asses
than accepting responsibility and resolving the causation; that was nothing
compared to the emotional pain…page 247
Emotional wounds and pain are
invisible … like a killer toothache no one else feels except the one suffering!
Dr. Kabat-Zinn still had his
wife, kids, friends, career, freedom, etc… To return to after his stint to the
retreat. So I ask how ‘mindful’ would he be if stripped of all he loves and has
worth living for? How severe do you think his emotional wounds would be then?
Is there a quiz or test to
determine his pain threshold? How long can a person be psychologically tortured
before death saves them? Will reading Wherever
You Go There You Are magically cease their bleeding? Would he become more
“mindful” of his losses, heartaches, painful, existence? Would it hurt less?
Would he find peace and tranquility in the pit of this barred hell hole? And smile
happily while missing his children, loved ones, birthdays, holidays,, time
together; unable to help them protect or hug them, watch them grow up etc…?
Would he be “mindful” enough to rejoice at being unable to visit with anyone he
hadn’t known prior to 1975 for bogus “security” concerns. Allowed to correspond
and call but no visit in a non-contact, highly encroached, phone monitored,
voyeuristic booth. Would he feel or be comforted, befriended and less alienated
when the only humans he sees are the nameless/faceless/cruel BOP drones
that cause prisoners of all
color, religion, nationality and ages to
deteriorate into raging maniacs that scream, bang their tortured heads and
lives away or recluses who self implode
… never to be seen again;
Physiologically trapped in a cell we don’t leave, suffering in silence; exactly as
the B.O.P. score, because breathing corpses rot without notice; that’s why they
are quick to summon their lackeys to dope us and turn us into vegetables or/and
four point us (chain us down to a 6’x4’ block and torture us until we yield to
the suffering “mindfully” / quietly.
“In the middle of this road we call life/ I found
myself in a dark wood/with no clear path through”
- Dante Alighieri; Divine
Comedy Inferno pg 87
This is relatable: I am in
solitary confinement with no end in sight!
If one is a strong-willed accomplished person, they
may often give the impression that they are
invulnerable to feelings inadequacies, insecurity or
hurt. This can be very isolating and ultimately cause you and others great
pain. Other people will be all too happy to take that impression and collude in
propaganda a Rock of Gibraltar persona onto them which doesn’t allow them to
have real feelings. In fact, they can all too easily get out of touch with their
own true feelings behind the intoxicating shield of image and Aura. (Page 65)
I relate: I’m branded “the
worst of the worst” or else I wouldn’t be here(ADX) Right? So I am treated
accordingly: As a stigmatized person. I’m not necessarily judged by what I do.
FACT: After 23 years clean time. I’m
still here; deemed a “security” threat. If God forbid I a want a visit with a
loved one I didn’t know prior to 1975. My stigmatization blinds administrators
from seeing past my reputation and 30 year rap sheet. They have labeled me a
“threat” even though I have not threatened nor done any harm to anyone
in three decades.
I suspect this ploy is used
for three possibilities1.) I killed a guard… so payback’s a bitch. 2.) The B.O.P.’s hierarchy hasn’t got what it
takes to defy the B.O.P lynch mob who swore 30 years ago, since they cant kill
me: they’ll make my life a living hell; so I’d wish I were dead! Said a B.O.P. official
to Mr. Pete Earley, quoted in his book The
Hot House page 226-7; 3.) They are
protecting their own asses in case I screwed up. Which is a legal concern:
regarding all guys let out of ADX. However; given my lengthy exemplary
clean conduct and the fact guys with worse records than mine haven’t been
isolated 30 years; begs to question: their real rationale for refusing to let
good conduct determine whether or not I’ve earned less restrictions; Instead of
allowing them to get away with using their all-purpose go-to-ploy: “security
threat” year after year; when they want to yank the noose around our necks
tighter.
Regardless what they label
me: I’m a human being! Just because I may not bas my skull into cell bars
or/and severely mutilate myself as others do in here; that are driven insane,
doesn’t mean I suffer less! Their (BOP) Scarlet Letter carved into my chest
fails to immunize me from their shackles and lash!
,
So when my “therapist”
responds to my pleas with books and lip service; is why I believe the
nonsensical “treatment” is a sham, malignant, malpractice and violation of
their Hippocratic oath; that I understand to be; “Do not Harm”. In this case;
Silence is causing harm! Along with inadequate “treatment” their profession prohibits
members from participating in executions or torture. “Medical professionals
understand they can not agree to government request to hurt or kill their
patients; it would violate their ethics”
Ethical minded impartial and
sincere outside, non-paid BOP psychologists are needed to intervene and stop
this institutions quackery. A closer inspection by APA (American psychological
Association) should reveal their BOP alliance and sham.
Examples:
When I asked Ms. Moody why
she doesn’t confront administration to help me resolve the causations of my
problems; she admitted to me she didn’t want to lose her job by “rocking the
boat”, status quo; I would think concern for her ethical responsibility comes
before job security and speaking truth to the merciless rulers who strangle and
torture her patients with their administrational garrote!
Unfortunately for their
patients (or whatever they refer to us now) all I see BOP psychologists do is
provide a ‘rubber stamp’ for the psychological damage ADX inflicts on us; which
is painfully apparent to those not paid to ignore it.
Instead of working towards a
less psychological painful means of confinement; BOP hires psychologists to
give the false impression that we’re “treated” despite denying their methodology
is not traumatizing and they don’t have mentally ill people here; if this is
correct; why the need for medication, treatment and psychologists? I agree with
Jon Kabat-Zinn:
The attitude of non-harming lies at the heart of Yoga practice [which I have studied-
privately- the past 30 years but my so-called ‘reviewers’ ignore in their bogus
threat assessment of me] and the Hippocratic Oath. It was the underlying
principle of Gandhi’s revolution and of his personal meditation practice. But
there was something about the sincerity with which my friend made his comment
coupled with the incongruity of the person I thought I knew saying it, which
impressed me. It struck me as a good way to relate to the world and oneself.
Why not try to live as to cause as little damage and suffering as possible?
If we lived that way; we wouldn’t have the insane
levels of violence that dominate our lives and our thinking today; we would be
more generous toward ourselves as well; on the meditation cushion and off of
it… (page 217)
It’s too bad BOP and their
Hench persons fail to practice what they so self righteously preach. What
lessons, realistically, are they instilling in us with their heartless
psychological torture, surely not forgiveness, compassion, empathy, wellness, responsibility?
To the contrary; they teach force, power
makes what they do right, regardless how it hurts or effects people. The more
defenseless a people are the easier it is to enslave them; mind, body, heart
and soul. Then justify it with authoritative scare tactics; especially to the
uninformed populace; gullible enough to trust that this government pisses holy
water, instead they are just pissing on them when they aren’t paying attention.
But working in the stress reduction clinic, the white
coat be a true impediment. I have to work over time as it is to reflect
back all the projections I get from people that I am “Mr. Relaxation” or “Dr.
Have-it-all-together” or “ Mr. Wisdom and compassion-incarnate” page 191
This is perhaps more
egregious ‘example” of the psych dept.’s overt loyalty to the BOP. According to
Ms. Moody; when asked Why she (psyche dept) carries a guard’s skull buster (baton)
then expect us to trust someone armed with our oppressors weaponry? Which I
have been beaten and had my skull split opened several times she lamely replies”
It’s required”. Apparently. They have them; and brandish this impediment.
This shows an inept knowledge
of their subject matter or disregard for how they are perceived by those
of us they are supposedly
here to “HELP”…So a blind person can see the essentiality of germinating a
“trusting” rapport with people purposed to divulge our most intimate thoughts,
feelings, secrets etc. I would assume that is “Psyche 101”. It’s counter
productive to impede our confidence in their role here. Are they well-meaning,
unbiased psychologists or C.O’s disguised as psychologists or just wanna-be
cops and closet sadists; who are certifiable; Perhaps just fraudsters with
imitation credentials? Whoever they are they do more harm than good!
This isn’t an aberration,
rogue psychologist, who hopped on the crazy train. It’s their “marching orders”
supercilious superintendents… causing one to ponder; if the blind are leading
the blind? Are the loonies running the asylum?
A 10th grade “drop
out” Should not be pointing out this blatant snafu. Surely, in all these years,
a legitimate psychologist has realized; this is like a traumatized holocaust
survivor going to the hospital for a critical operation and his surgeon appears
clad in a Nazi swastikas. Certainly a university graduate has enough walking
around sense to grasp the foreboding the patient seizes… and how unreassuringly
and worrisome any explanation for wearing it would be. I am not meaning to compare the horrific atrocities of Nazi Germany’s
holocaust on the Jewish people to the malfeasance unfolding at ADX currently. Yet
similarities exist here in the shadows. So “medical professionals” who pledge a
“Hippocratic oath” ,also condone, ignore and cause repulsive acts of cruelty
against humanity and sold their souls and ethical responsibility to the Führer and embrace his deranged dogma. “The worst of
the worst” damnation; is reminiscent of a seed from, Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kamf and trans-physicians; ADX practicing quacks “heil” their allegiance to government’s/BOP’s Führer /director; oblivious to the blood and
guts they are submerged in.
ANOTHER EXAMPLE…
…of the psychology Dept’s
over enthusiastic “loyalty” to BOP their indoctrination, uncritical partisan
and adversarial stance; when it raised it’s ugly head upon first seeing Ms.
Moody (a recent BOP psych recruit and an apparent BOP zealot) Proudly donning
the BOP blazer with BOP swastika/”Moniker” on the left front of her chest.
Knowing she’s new and as clueless her veteran colleagues, who also wear our
oppressor’s uniform; though it is not mandatory, but a personal
preference instead of prison khakis (that is sure to cause BOP/ psych dept.
ostracism) they do not care how it offends us (their “patients”) whom they are
employed to “help”.
I tentatively pointed this
out to Ms. Moody, after asking if she’ll be worthless as her predecessors or
actually be here to help us. With all the sincerity of a car salesman she told
me what I wanted to hear…causing another lost beat of “hope” to pound in my
hopeless heart! Which was intensified seeing her dressed a couple of times
later without flashing any BOP imperious signs. Sadly, the last two
times I saw her, she was wearing her BOP jacket. That she “paid good
money for” and brandishing the BOP’S black, skull buster steel balls on each
end; known as “rib splitters”; because they’re taught to jab into our torsos
(after they chain us down on a cement block of cement, naked!)it will ricochet,
so it wont break a rib but slips into soft flesh and cause unnoticeable damage and excruciating pain!
While lying in this helpless
position; the sadists don’t miss their opportunity to force open our eyelids
and spray mace into our nostrils, mouths and genitals… inflicting an immediate
burning sensation! I have heard some prisoners are sodomized with batons
and almost all, I have known were left
to piss and shit on ourselves, suffer hunger pains when C.O.’s log in, they say
they have fed us, but fail to add; we were not able to eat since they set a
food tray or a “bag lunch” on the floor, since it’s an empty cell with a block
of cement, set in the middle of the floor and did not even uncuff a hand so we
can eat.
These specially designed
torture chambers resemble an eerie Frankenstein
movie scene; except; the dark melancholy is absent instead it is shattered by
bright blinding white ceiling lights, entombed in walls painted white/light tan
to intensify sensory collision! Coupled with callous, refrigerated temperatures
or so it feels, after lying motionless for hours days, weeks! Along with
suffering itches you can’t scratch, unprotected assaults by insects feasting on
the living carcass served to them on a grave slab… instead of a silver platter,
sealed in isolation, feeling helplessness, haunted by uncertainty, terrifying
speculation… “If they are capable and authorized to get away with this…what,
pray-tell, lurks next in the torpid minds of prisoncrats who embrace the barbarous act as a valid excruciation for
denounced ADX prisoners?”
These cruel ice boxes are not
reserved only for punishment. The psych dept. subjects mentally ill suicidal
prisoners to the same ordeal;
when men start to crack under the pressure of immurement! Revealing the
institutionalized/unrestrained barbarism executed by the custody and Psych tentacles
of this flesh devouring monster.
But who would logically think
to subjugate a person already cracking, to intensifying the causation, will
ease their desire to end their pain? It definitely
prevents further means of self-destruction/mutilation; which is certainly a
legitimate concern, but at what price? Just so the witless keepers can pat each
other on the ass, for temporarily disrupting the relief sought from the agony
engorging them, while ignoring its source… that they all deny exists, so they’re not responsible.
Then they have the amentia to
“punish” us, when we finally succumb to the pressure and try to end it. How
dare we spit out what they so self-righteously force feed us! Exposing this
insufferable situation; its schizoid of BOP to build ADX; designed specifically
to bury their “worst of the worst” alive and actually herald its draconian/subhuman
architecture and oppressive “security” extremes. Yet, when the condemned “crack”
under its insanity, they act surprised… then negate any and all
accountability, in fact, blame or dismiss our fallibility. Torture souls and
the mentally ill aren’t stupid, so say and do whatever the psychologists want
to hear to escape their “ice box
treatment” …So of course after a few days of intense psychological torture,
that they’re able to endure their living nightmare.
That is partly why many are
repeat offenders. And why the FBI supposedly doesn’t condone “torture”
techniques; they do not
work because the information obtained isn’t reliable.
What I am emphasizing isn’t a
profound revelation. I noted earlier, it’s been proven since America’s first
penitentiary; designed to entomb prisoners. The problem now; is like the
tobacco companies C.E.O.s, who tried to deny smoking causes cancer. BOP C.E.O’s
and their hired lackeys; deny their methodology is injurious to
prisoners/people. How much psychological damage will ADX prisoners endure
before they heed historical lessons?
I fear, no time soon is their
answer. Since all BOP hired guns are required to participate in BOP’s
routine “training” (brain washing indoctrination) sessions, that instructs them
(along side C.O’s) guard duties. Why else are medical Doctors, nurses,
psychologists, educators, culinary, religious service, facilities and office
staff etc. are required, when ordered, to man a gun tower, kill an escapee,
shake down cells, escort prisoners etc etc.
We don’t socialize with
C.O.’s, they are not our
neighbors, colleagues, our kids don’t play together, go to school, church,
shopping, ballgames, carpool nor exchange Christmas gifts with each other etc.;
like those on BOP’s gravy train do. So
it’s a fallacy to dismiss the gradual assimilation that transpires, especially
as months become years. So is it any wonder non-custody lackeys transpose into
BOP clones? I have never seen any BOP
inductee wear our khaki shirts, but they all wear our oppressors’ uniform. I have
also seen them escort prisoners and do shake down of cells. This slap in our
face exposes their true character. As Jon Kabat-Zinn pointed out, even his
white coat was an impediment; even though it’s expected of physicians. He
understood his clientele well enough to avoid foreseen controversy and
how he would likely be perceived.
How clueless is a
psychologist to not automatically realize that one of the most suspicious
things psychology personnel can do can do; if he/she want to establish
trust/rapport within prison walls is to flaunt our tormentors’ patch of
oppression and wield their whip (baton) this cabal of self serving B.O.P.
prisoncrats reek throughout this infectious organism. All anyone has to do to
verify this is look into 1. ADX disciplinary and 2. Administrative remedy records to see we
seldom, if ever, win one, regardless of it’s merits. “Policy”: is used by the
collaborators of the cabal as an “alibi” regardless of what they are accused
of; they inevitably refer to “policy” to vouch for their deceit.
Example of conspicuous
collaboration:
Once my ex-counselor, Mr.
Foster, brought my regular mail (my mail
can only be picked up and delivered by my
unit team, unlike other prisoners.) I noticed a “legal” letter that had been opened and not stamped. (legal mail,
must be opened in front of me, stamped and I sign a log book for it) I showed
it to him and requested a “B.P.8 (complaint form) When he returned his
response (he in fact was the investigating officer assigned to do it) he
regurgitated their standard plotted reply to all my consistent mail complaints.
“You mail is processed according to policy” Though he’s the one that
brought the mail and eye witnessed it had already been opened.
This exact response was
repeated following the next three appellant levels; i.e.; B.P.9, 10, 11; Warden, regional director
and BOP director in Washington.
Since it’s usually our word
against theirs and it’s their B.O.P. Klan
members who adjudicate our disciplinary reports and grievances etc. (not our
family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, co-conspirators) is it
unfathomable to question why we seldom get our pleas rectified in our behalf.
This repeated refusal of BOP
to acknowledge any and all transgressions add to our frustration, resentment,
hopelessness etc. When justice is denied and grievances fall on deaf ears.
Check out how BOP out shrink
the shrinks: Before they even begin employment here, they’re privy to ADX ‘s
stigmatization, that BOP constantly propagates publically. All tyrannical regimes
create their own horror landmarks, as a warning to its populace, that’s
where they’ll send the unfavorable if you dare disobey.
First: BOP built Alcatraz and when it closed; they
replaced it with U.S.P. Marion then
after Marion
started to generate too much public scrutiny they changed its security
level and built ADX
There’s a few very
incriminating litigations in court now that is sure to rip the mask off this
monster; BOP is building its replacement. Actually they already have several
populated but they need a crown jewel to show off… reserved for only “the worst
of the worst”. Please define meaning; who defines it?*
“Make the lie big, make it simple,
keep saying it and eventually they will believe it” ~ Adolph Hitler~
So when BOP tells the
gullible clergy, psyche dept, Dr.s etc. that they must arm themselves since
we’re all so “dangerous” that we can attack at any time for no rhyme or reason;
they think whatever they are told to think and piss their pants/panties on cue
even though we’re never, ever in unrestrained contact with them. But in the
petrifying shock of hype and scare tactics; “Reality” is irrelevant; it’s the
perception BOP instills in them that matter, since a person’s perception is
their reality.
Predictably; since they’re
never near us unfettered; there’s no way we’re able to alter their perception.
Realistically, unless you have the courage and intelligence of a Jane Goodall,
to find out for yourself; as “experts” who feared actually going into a jungle
to mingle with gorilla families, to discover they won’t attack unless provoked;
as “experts” had proclaimed. You are
inclined to be biased, while “treating” men you fear will harm you without a
steel door and gate of bars between you.
“People do not believe lies
because they have to, but because they want to” ~Malcolm Muggeridge~
* A child molester/killer or a
so called “gang member” who kills their enemy within prison- not an innocent
woman/child, yet the child/woman/rapist/killers are not deemed “the worst of the worst” and sent here
“My kind of loyalty was to
one’s country, not it’s institutions or officeholders. The country is the real
thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over
and care for, be loyal to; institutions are extraneous, they are its mere
clothing and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable,
cease to protect the body from winter, disease and death. ~Mark Twain~
“Power concedes nothing
without a demand. It never did and it never will” ~Frederick Douglas~
“You can’t change a
problem…with the same mentality that caused it” ~ Albert Einstein~
“Bad precedent always began
with justifiable measures” ~Unknown~
“Shrinks should understand
their subjects before they try to shrink them” ~ Tom Silverstein~
The End
Tom Silverstein
#14634-116
September 5th, 2013
Update: September 13th
2013
Ms. Moody was recently with
the Unit C.O. passing out food trays. Apparently, she found a job she’s
actually qualified for and wearing her BOP jacket, like a good and obedient
lackey; laughing and joking with our oppressor. When she looked at me; I turned
away in disgust… not so much for her, but as an ex-bank robber/killer; I realize
sometimes we have to do whatever it takes to survive. But turned in disgust at
the transparent sham occurring, at the expense/ deprivation; of real
professional help!!
http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness/dp/0786880708
