Friday, November 7, 2014

Where ever You Go There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn: a book review

Tom was given this book and more meds to treat his symptoms all of which are caused by more than 3 decades of torture here are his extensive thoughts regarding the book he was given:
* this is written in his own words using some colloquial  language
** no offense to the writer of said book just pointing out this is not the place for this book

A Scalding Critique of Psych Book Review:

and the phony “treatment programs” provided ADX  prisoners

By Tom Silverstein

Ms. Moody Psych Dept. 09/05-2013


This paper is for the psychology programming credit offered if we (prisoners) submit a1-2 paper essay on a book the unit psychologist recommends for us to read to supposedly “help with what ails” me/us.


Ms. Moody, my assigned Psychologist, sent me “Wherever you go there you are” (true title) by John Kabot-Zinn. After discussing my psychological deterioration; she said that she was unable to help with my more severe ailments; But would refer me to psychiatrist for psych med. Which she did; My Fluoxetine was doubled from one 20mg cap to two w/ the same result as the one. It doesn’t do anything but increase my lackadaisicalness.  She, however, assured me that she can help through her and me discussing my other issues:

i.e.; they refer to it dubiously as “Anxiety” like a nervous teenager going on his first date; I know it’s caged rage , panic attacks, insomnia, memory loss, loss of concentration, extreme depression, etc etc; all intensified by staff harassment i.e.; withholding mail for weeks, refusing to allow visits with close friends that I’ve corresponded with  and called the past 10-30 years, reason given I didn’t know them prior to incarceration: 1975, even though they qualify otherwise. As do I for the exemption to the prior incarceration rule, because: 1. I’ve not had a non-legal visit in over 5 years 2. I live out of state 3. Have been in prison 38 years, so most folks I knew are dead or no longer in touch. I’m haunted by doing 3 Life sentences + 45 years and will never see the wonderful friends I love and miss very much! Nor will I ever leave ADX; except in a body bag; along with all the rest that spores from this cesspool of inhumanity, that masquerades as administrators/medical staff/psyche dept. /religious ministries/educators, who constantly inflict us in one way or the another.


I wont elaborate on the sadistic Sadist who feed off of other people’s misery. I only want to elucidate why Ms. Moody sent aforementioned book. After reading it, I expressed to her; I relate to a few parts (I will elaborate on this later)but for the most part it left me empty and feeling more discouraged, frustrated, depressed, hopeless and helpless! Because it is akin to giving a dying cancer patient a Bible (of any denomination) assuring them; all they need to do is pray and believe, God will magically heal them. Unfortunately after reading, praying in earnest, the poor trusting fool drops dead! Then the faithful, unwilling to concede their hocus pocus failed and the self righteous blame the deceased for not believing in their archaic dogma sincerely enough. Like The Boppers do and sadly believe they can torture us with negligible psychological damage.




My RAGE attacks make me want to bang my head into a wall, tear shit up, scream bloody murder, shave my head; it effects my sleep, state of mind, body, what brief contact I have with others etc; I long to end this living nightmare once and for all.

On page 37 of the book the author suggests  what the reader (me) should do in a manic destructive state I should try: Recognize the bloom of the present moment in one’s daily meditation practice I do, but these 4 walls swallow me whole mind, body and soul; the less it helps. The book says “…if you are up early in the morning; try going outside and looking (a sustained, mindful attentive looking) at the stars at the moon, at the dawning light when it comes feel the air, the cold the warmth ( a sustained mindful attentive feeling) realize the world around you is sleeping, remember when you see the stars that you are looking back in time millions of years. The past is present now and here”


Perhaps I could smoke what he obviously does; we could surf the same bitchin’ wave link dude. But I can’t: Because I am confined to a keyless cell 24/7 and have been for 34 years. This is the cause of what ails me! I feel inept, moronic to not comprehend books like this. Ms. Moody said she read it, so I assume she grasped this High fluting mumbo jumbo and thought I’d be able to uncork the elusive Jinni concealed in the bottle, between

its mystical pages and have my wish for relief from this asylum of insanity and torture, granted.  Disastrously, I’m unable to decipher its secret passages. Maybe I’m not praying and believing whole heartedly, or not gullible enough to actually discover the deliverance promised.

The book is peppered with mind boggling quotes; page 101 says: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us”~ Oliver Wendell Holmes


I contest: Just because Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote this does not stop my hallucination, ruminations or lethargy. Here’s more, perchance you are brighter than me and can decode the healing verses hidden within that quote: to give you an idea of the treatment received at ADX. There is no resolve; just psycho babble, psyche drugs and books*. “What is needed is to learn afresh, to observe and discover for ourselves the meaning of wholeness”~ David Bohm Wholeness and the Implicate Order pg. 229


“Wholeness” does not stop my headaches, foggy thoughts, blurry vision, the voices I hear, the walls from breathing and closing in!




* This is like locking someone in an ice cold freezer then telling them they can stop shaking, turning blue and getting frostbite; if they think nice warm thoughts sincerely; and pop a couple anti-depressant pills daily. However, the pious parasites giving lip-service, masquerading at ADX as psychologists; who do not dare enter the same torture chambers they preside over, like vultures drooling at the sight of our misery and psychological decay; they perch outside our encasements like amused zoo visitors waiting to see what we’ll do next, while instructing us how best to suffer what they have never experienced.



“I am large: I contain multitudes” ~ Walt Whitman Leaves of Grass. 229

God for him; Contain multitudes of what? Bullshit? I am literally buried alive in a small cell 24/7! So what’s the point?


“…their eyes their ancient glittering eyes, are gay.” ~W.B.Yeats; Lapiz Lazuli p. 270

My eyes are damaged after suffering 24/7 florescent lighting for 25 years non-stop; while trapped in a cell.* So what’s the point? And what would W.B. Yeats or Walt Whitman know about 34 years isolation?

There are more of these elitist’s platitudes, surely you get my common sense point; without having to decipher its meaning between nonsensical verbiage


Here’s a couple I in a way relate to:

“Ordinary men hate solitude [no shit Sherlock]

But the master makes use of it [How exactly?]…

…embracing his aloneness realizing he is one with the whole universe’* [Whoopee for him. But how does that realization stop my memory deterioration?]

*Lao-Tzu, Tao-Te-Ching 227


As a lifelong student of eastern philosophy and pseudo practioner of Mahayana Buddhism and graduate of a 12 year correspondence course in Siddha Yoga and currently completing  their 4 year masters course; I am familiar with the legendary Lao-Tzu; founder of Taoism (6th century B.C.) and suspect he didn’t need a Ph-D in psychology to realize not all are “Masters” and solitude has a negative effect on “Ordinary men”

I assume even a legendary “Master” chokes on a forced fed diet of solitude after 34 years.


He wisely makes the distinction: When a person “chooses solitude vs. “forced” into it. Unfortunately, for us (Federal prisoners 2013) the B.O.P.’s so-called “penal professionals” believe one cage fits all; after branding us the worst of the worst .; so with the exploitive arm of their lackeys (psyche dept.). They hold us down, while B.O.P. officials strip us of our individuality, dignity, sanity, loved ones, along with everything else meaningful to us…Then leaving us with nothing left to live for…They herd us into isolated stalls like unconscious cattle, until we rot to death or parole!


It is said the definition of insanity is repeating the same failed thing; and expecting a different result.


  The Evidence of Psychological Harm and Suffering resulting from solitary confinement dates back over 100 years. In remedial, the Supreme Court examined solitary confinement in **Colorado.


* and my eyes are damaged from not seeing further than a few feet.


** ADX is in Colorado


134 U. S.160 (1890) in Reaching that holding; the court recounted “serious objections” to solitary confinement; “[a] considerable number of prisoners fell, after even a short confinement, into a semi-fatuous condition from which it impossible to arouse them; and others became violently insane; others committed suicide; those who withstood the ordeal were not generally reformed [surprise, surprise] and in most cases they did not recover  sufficient mental activity to be of subsequent service to the community” [surprise, surprise] Id.AT168


(Rovner L. & Glidden B. 2013. D.C. NO. 1;7-CV-02471p.34)


How is it: That in 2013; its (indefinite isolation) acceptable and considered by the enforcers of it and their psych lackeys to be less severe and devastating than it was 100 years ago? Its evidence that the current penal intelligence is constipated, since they have not progressed in the past century; which demands inquiry into the incompetence of B.O.P.’s hierarchy that sadistically cling to medieval psychological torture for imprisonment. If this is their best/only solution; then it is vital they be replaced immediately and B.O.P. be dragged, if necessary, kicking and screaming into the twenty- first century.


The contested methodology (by people of conscience : without an invested interest ie; job security  and/or sadistic gratification) compares to those folks who condemn waterboarding  and formidably see it for what it is: Torture! while its proponents deem it “enhanced interrogation technique”.


a wife batterer; that kicks poor defenseless wife’s two front teeth and when she screams spitting blood, in pain he arrogantly orders “shut up, it doesn’t hurt…I don’t feel a thing”


Jon Kabat-Zinn shars his meditation retreat experience with his readers;


“ I loved these retreats because they enabled me to put everything in my life on hold; go off some place pleasant and peaceful in the countryside ; get taken care of and live an extremely simplified contemplative life. Where the only agenda was to practice, practice, practice” p. 247


This book reveals their (psych staff) insensitivity, naivety, incompetence malfunction, malpractice, and they plainly do not know their subjects or what we endure and suffer!

I’d fell like an idiot giving this crap to anyone isolated; as an actual “treatment”

to “help” what ails them. Much less; someone like me; a three time lifer, isolated indefinitely, with absolutely no reprieve from this governmental inferno! Perhaps, if I could kick back at a “pleasant and peaceful retreat” of my choosing that I “love,” in a “countryside escape” from the tyranny and trauma endured 24/7, 365 day a year, for decades on end and just watch the sunset; contemplating mindfulness, I too could project

the illusionary Wherever you go there you are concept, with a smile and skip in my step, while whistling Dixie. Everything the writer put “on hold”, is exactly what I miss!  It has been years since seeing or touching my children, what’s left of my family/friends. Nor have I seen/felt/smelled grass/dirt/trees/ocean/mountains/had a job or felt a sense of self reliance, accomplishment, work ethic responsibility… because.


ADX and its unconscionable overlords prohibit it. Consequently, crippling people and denying us from the fruit that comes from working. We are intentionally and maliciously yoked to shackles and disenfranchised. How exactly a man pull himself up by his boot straps; when he’s not allowed any? This system is rotten to the core… made so by moronic kooks who are clueless; no amount of sugar will fix it. It must be trashed and replaced with fresh ingredients, recipe, and most importantly legitimate chefs with actual experience/credentials; instead of an incestuous blood/clan connection.


Are there criteria or experience required before B.O.P. hires a psychologist, I wonder, or do they just answer Help Wanted ads? Is any experience required? They must submit in blind obedience and be willing to condone to whatever the B.O.P. puppeteers deem their legitimate “professional correctional judgments” I say this: because, when I ask a B.O.P.

Psychologist, no matter which joint I’m in; why don’t they intervene or have a more significant input i.e.; helping to eliminate/alleviate the obvious harm, damage, psychosis

 ADX/isolation inflicts on its victims. (This is apparent to psychologists not on the B.O.P. payroll, who actually study the side effects of this barbaric means of torture) They inevitably blink, dumbstruck and stare like a mannequin who hasn’t been programmed to ever question Master’s “professional correctional judgment”; they reiterate the standard pass-the-buck response. They are “powerless” due to the chain of command. To anyone that knows what control freaks, sadists and paranoid parasites are like, it’s not surprising the “custody” tentacle of the headless monster controls all other appendages; they then arrogantly and ignorantly ridicule progressive methodologies, for their failed punish and isolate malfeasance.


I’ve only got a 10th grade education; however,  am I alone finding it bazaar that well-educated psychologists take orders from C.O.s 9correction officers) with a high school certificate?

According to my Oxford encyclopedic English dictionary, 1995: psychology is “the scientific study of the human mind and its functions, esp. those affecting behavior in a given context”


My dictionary doesn’t have the definition for “C.O.” since it is a paradox. Prison guards do not “correct” anyone. It is a title they themselves created  to mask their true identity; defined as “guard” means Keep watch by (a door etc.) to control entry or exit, supervise prisoners etc… A zoo Keeper is not called when a  zoo animal needs medical attention, they call a Veterinarian. In this ass-backward penal system the Vets refer to the zookeepers. Then can not figure out why it’s a disaster, so the accuse” the worst of the worst” and continue with more of what makes people “worse”, those who should know better, blindly sit idly by watching the fiasco, and collecting their 30 pieces of silver year after year, after year, after year... Causing me to question their integrity, professional ethics; if the B.O.P.’s psychologist intentionally fabricate these bogus “treatment” ploys to conceal their covert compliance, attempting to justify their job security at the government’s feeding trough…Since both their self-interest depends on keeping this nightmare full of human livestock; while ignoring and dismissing historical analysis- evidence of the injurious effects that their exploitation has on us… buried alive in these cement coffins!


This clear disconnection between what psychologist are taught in school; pertaining to free persons mental concerns a causations and means of cures and treatments; differ substantially from incarcerated souls and those of us driven stir crazy!


I can’t unlock the cell door obviously and stroll outside in my fluffy slippers, pipe in hand to gaze up at the stars, take a deep breath and feel a sense of peace and happiness. I can’t even see the stars or moon from my cell window. I am forbidden any kind of small retreat from this reality except for 2 15 minute calls a month and a monthly or so conversation when the psychologist speaks to me, that is it. Otherwise I’m stuck in a small suffocating box car cell with my madness 24/7! So what may help free people doesn’t necessarily apply to those of us suffering in isolation! Which prisoncrats that profit from our pain and misery are quick to dismiss because a guard pushes a food tray in a slot in the cell door 3 times daily and other B.O.P.  “personnel”  make weekly/monthly rounds; if that…Which consist of  brief “drive-bys” as they periodically walk past the cells and periodically glance in, this flash is not interaction but ADX/bureau of Prisons enforcers say based on these drive-bys we are not isolated. Perhaps psychically speaking : Some of us exhibit clinical symptoms… disorders, that can be treated/cured traditionally etc… But oddly, the psychologists fail to acknowledge the elephant in the cell, by ignoring our 24/7 isolation. Ignoring the isolated cell, the fact we’ve been moved far from our families so it makes visiting them basically impossible the limited calls, etc. When the judge sentenced me to life in prison; he did not say to be served in 24/7 isolation, cross country and s permanently alienated from family and friends and prohibited from ever visiting anyone I didn’t know from that day on.


Those devastating implications are from prisoncrats without a clue what makes people tick.  They are guards; so that’s all they know how to do keep us locked up and watch us like overpaid babysitters, which a chimpanzee can do. So it is no surprise they lack a more humane and workable way of confining their human livestock without torturing us.


Their knowledge of their livestock is so inept, they are either clueless or so diabolical that it’s intentional. Ether way, is it surprising people are less controllable, after being stripped of everything meaningful and exiled to a hell hole filled with long term prisoners who also have nothing left to lose?


The psychologists here should at least realize, regardless of how inexperienced and incompetent they are the professionals supposedly learned “the scientific study of the mind and it’s functions especially those affecting behavior in a given context” They would know how non-productive 24/7 psychological torture is: regardless of how B.O.P. label us or justify it, no matter what ploy i.e.; pills, injections, books, TV programs, lobotomies prescribed we’re still entombed, condemned indefinitely. One size treatment does not fit all it’s perplexing, if it’s not a sham that ADX psychologists sincerely believe that they can give psychologically tortured men their placebo “treatments” that will magically alleviate the pain, caged rage,  hostility, frustration that continues to manifest from harassments and hardships endured for decades and counting. How is a placebo magical cure supposed to revive our sense of hopefulness, wellness and family, when those pulling your strings assure us every six months that due to whatever landed us here, no matter how long ago and no matter how well we behave we’ll always be considered a threat and never leave here; when the psyche department admits their emphasis is to cower to the hand that feeds them and concedes to their impotency? What does the psyche dept. have for damage already done? Aside from bowing to the status quo and rubber stamping B.O.P.’s denial of liability for harm imposed on us; will going outside looking at the stars, nullify the past 34 years entombment? Either way sham or sincere; we (prisoners) lose and are forced to suffer a failed system.


 not that it was easy, mind you. There was often a lot of physical pain from sitting still for that many hours. And that was nothing compared to the emotional pain which would sometimes surface as the mind and body became more still and less busy--page 247

Jon Kabat-Zinn Ph.D. is a meditation teacher, scientist and writer.  He is professor of medicine emeritus University of Massachusetts medical school where he was founding executive director (1995)  of the center for mindfulness in medicine, health care society. And founder of its world renowned stress reduction clinic (page 281)


It is very interesting what the well educated medical/meditation/professor/author experienced in his desired solitude, likely at an expensive retreat of his choosing where he felt “pain” from the idleness. What would he likely experience if he were forced into a cell for 34 years and assured he’d die there?


No one truly knows its taste until they actually take a bite; the gut wrenching wrath of solitary confinement!

Which he freed himself of after a few hours? I am unable to leave my physical emotional pain even when I can not bear it another second!

Imagine the experience would differ if he was locked without choice in solitude no aesthetic  surroundings, hated by the keepers, no visits, in four enclosed walls indefinitely 24/7! Particularly in my case for I am singled out for enhanced isolation*… Even within the confines of ADX (a locked down penitentiary) I’m forbidden to even communicate with other prisons or be around them i.e., when I'm in my dog cage recreation no other prisons can be out in theirs. I bet none could imagine it! In the free world what do you have to compare to three decades of psychological torture in isolation? So how can the psyche dept. begin to “treat” what ails me with “Wherever you go there You Are?”

* alienation and persecution


He is absolutely correct

There is often a LOT of physical pain just from sitting still for that many hours, bed sores are deadly when ignored, dismissed, unattended and left to fester; while those causing it are more concerned, quibbling over deniability and protecting their own asses than accepting responsibility and resolving the causation; that was nothing compared to the emotional pain…page 247


Emotional wounds and pain are invisible … like a killer toothache no one else feels except the one suffering!

Dr. Kabat-Zinn still had his wife, kids, friends, career, freedom, etc… To return to after his stint to the retreat. So I ask how ‘mindful’ would he be if stripped of all he loves and has worth living for? How severe do you think his emotional wounds would be then?


Is there a quiz or test to determine his pain threshold? How long can a person be psychologically tortured before death saves them? Will reading Wherever You Go There You Are magically cease their bleeding? Would he become more “mindful” of his losses, heartaches, painful, existence? Would it hurt less? Would he find peace and tranquility in the pit of this barred hell hole? And smile happily while missing his children, loved ones, birthdays, holidays,, time together; unable to help them protect or hug them, watch them grow up etc…? Would he be “mindful” enough to rejoice at being unable to visit with anyone he hadn’t known prior to 1975 for bogus “security” concerns. Allowed to correspond and call but no visit in a non-contact, highly encroached, phone monitored, voyeuristic booth. Would he feel or be comforted, befriended and less alienated when the only humans he sees are the nameless/faceless/cruel BOP drones

that cause prisoners of all color, religion,  nationality and ages to deteriorate into raging maniacs that scream, bang their tortured heads and lives away or recluses who self  implode … never to be seen again;

Physiologically trapped in a cell we don’t leave, suffering in silence; exactly as the B.O.P. score, because breathing corpses rot without notice; that’s why they are quick to summon their lackeys to dope us and turn us into vegetables or/and four point us (chain us down to a 6’x4’ block and torture us until we yield to the suffering “mindfully” / quietly.


“In the middle of this road we call life/ I found myself in a dark wood/with no clear path through”

- Dante Alighieri; Divine Comedy Inferno pg 87

This is relatable: I am in solitary confinement with no end in sight!


If one is a strong-willed accomplished person, they may often give the impression that they are

invulnerable to feelings inadequacies, insecurity or hurt. This can be very isolating and ultimately cause you and others great pain. Other people will be all too happy to take that impression and collude in propaganda a Rock of Gibraltar  persona onto them which doesn’t allow them to have real feelings. In fact, they can all too easily get out of touch with their own true feelings behind the intoxicating shield of image and Aura. (Page 65)


I relate: I’m branded “the worst of the worst” or else I wouldn’t be here(ADX) Right? So I am treated accordingly: As a stigmatized person. I’m not necessarily judged by what I do. FACT: After 23 years clean time.  I’m still here; deemed a “security” threat. If God forbid I a want a visit with a loved one I didn’t know prior to 1975. My stigmatization blinds administrators from seeing past my reputation and 30 year rap sheet. They have labeled me a “threat” even though I have not threatened nor done any harm to anyone in three decades.


I suspect this ploy is used for three possibilities1.) I killed a guard… so payback’s a bitch. 2.) The B.O.P.’s hierarchy hasn’t got what it takes to defy the B.O.P lynch mob who swore 30 years ago, since they cant kill me: they’ll make my life a living hell; so I’d wish I were dead! Said a B.O.P. official to Mr. Pete Earley, quoted in his book The Hot House page 226-7;  3.) They are protecting their own asses in case I screwed up. Which is a legal concern: regarding all guys let out of ADX. However; given my lengthy exemplary clean conduct and the fact guys with worse records than mine haven’t been isolated 30 years; begs to question: their real rationale for refusing to let good conduct determine whether or not I’ve earned less restrictions; Instead of allowing them to get away with using their all-purpose go-to-ploy: “security threat” year after year; when they want to yank the noose around our necks tighter.


Regardless what they label me: I’m a human being! Just because I may not bas my skull into cell bars or/and severely mutilate myself as others do in here; that are driven insane, doesn’t mean I suffer less! Their (BOP) Scarlet Letter carved into my chest fails to immunize me from their shackles and lash!


So when my “therapist” responds to my pleas with books and lip service; is why I believe the nonsensical “treatment” is a sham, malignant, malpractice and violation of their Hippocratic oath; that I understand to be; “Do not Harm”. In this case; Silence is causing harm! Along with inadequate “treatment” their profession prohibits members from participating in executions or torture. “Medical professionals understand they can not agree to government request to hurt or kill their patients; it would violate their ethics”


Raphael Sperry; April 15th, 2013 with Solitary Watch which include 21 comments opposing the architecture of isolation: Architects against Solitary Confinement; url: ...27/07/2013.


Ethical minded impartial and sincere outside, non-paid BOP psychologists are needed to intervene and stop this institutions quackery. A closer inspection by APA (American psychological Association) should reveal their BOP alliance and sham.



When I asked Ms. Moody why she doesn’t confront administration to help me resolve the causations of my problems; she admitted to me she didn’t want to lose her job by “rocking the boat”, status quo; I would think concern for her ethical responsibility comes before job security and speaking truth to the merciless rulers who strangle and torture her patients with their administrational garrote!


Unfortunately for their patients (or whatever they refer to us now) all I see BOP psychologists do is provide a ‘rubber stamp’ for the psychological damage ADX inflicts on us; which is painfully apparent to those not paid to ignore it.

Instead of working towards a less psychological painful means of confinement; BOP hires psychologists to give the false impression that we’re “treated” despite denying their methodology is not traumatizing and they don’t have mentally ill people here; if this is correct; why the need for medication, treatment and psychologists? I agree with Jon Kabat-Zinn:


The attitude of non-harming lies at the heart of  Yoga practice [which I have studied- privately- the past 30 years but my so-called ‘reviewers’ ignore in their bogus threat assessment of me] and the Hippocratic Oath. It was the underlying principle of Gandhi’s revolution and of his personal meditation practice. But there was something about the sincerity with which my friend made his comment coupled with the incongruity of the person I thought I knew saying it, which impressed me. It struck me as a good way to relate to the world and oneself. Why not try to live as to cause as little damage and suffering as possible?

If we lived that way; we wouldn’t have the insane levels of violence that dominate our lives and our thinking today; we would be more generous toward ourselves as well; on the meditation cushion and off of it… (page 217)


It’s too bad BOP and their Hench persons fail to practice what they so self righteously preach. What lessons, realistically, are they instilling in us with their heartless psychological torture, surely not forgiveness, compassion, empathy, wellness, responsibility?  To the contrary; they teach force, power makes what they do right, regardless how it hurts or effects people. The more defenseless a people are the easier it is to enslave them; mind, body, heart and soul. Then justify it with authoritative scare tactics; especially to the uninformed populace; gullible enough to trust that this government pisses holy water, instead they are just pissing on them when they aren’t paying attention.


But working in the stress reduction clinic, the white coat be a true impediment. I have to work over time as it is to reflect back all the projections I get from people that I am “Mr. Relaxation” or “Dr. Have-it-all-together” or “ Mr. Wisdom and compassion-incarnate” page 191


This is perhaps more egregious ‘example” of the psych dept.’s overt loyalty to the BOP. According to Ms. Moody; when asked Why she (psyche dept) carries a guard’s skull buster (baton) then expect us to trust someone armed with our oppressors weaponry? Which I have been beaten and had my skull split opened several times she lamely replies” It’s required”. Apparently. They have them; and brandish this impediment.

This shows an inept knowledge of their subject matter or disregard for how they are perceived by those

of us they are supposedly here to “HELP”…So a blind person can see the essentiality of germinating a “trusting” rapport with people purposed to divulge our most intimate thoughts, feelings, secrets etc. I would assume that is “Psyche 101”. It’s counter productive to impede our confidence in their role here. Are they well-meaning, unbiased psychologists or C.O’s disguised as psychologists or just wanna-be cops and closet sadists; who are certifiable; Perhaps just fraudsters with imitation credentials? Whoever they are they do more harm than good!


This isn’t an aberration, rogue psychologist, who hopped on the crazy train. It’s their “marching orders” supercilious superintendents… causing one to ponder; if the blind are leading the blind? Are the loonies running the asylum?


A 10th grade “drop out” Should not be pointing out this blatant snafu. Surely, in all these years, a legitimate psychologist has realized; this is like a traumatized holocaust survivor going to the hospital for a critical operation and his surgeon appears clad in a Nazi swastikas. Certainly a university graduate has enough walking around sense to grasp the foreboding the patient seizes… and how unreassuringly and worrisome any explanation for wearing it would be. I am not meaning to compare the horrific atrocities of Nazi Germany’s holocaust on the Jewish people to the malfeasance unfolding at ADX currently. Yet similarities exist here in the shadows. So “medical professionals” who pledge a “Hippocratic oath” ,also condone, ignore and cause repulsive acts of cruelty against humanity and sold their souls and ethical responsibility to the Führer  and embrace his deranged dogma. “The worst of the worst” damnation; is reminiscent of a seed from, Adolf Hitler’s  Mein Kamf and trans-physicians; ADX  practicing quacks “heil”  their allegiance to government’s/BOP’s  Führer /director; oblivious to the blood and guts they are submerged in.



…of the psychology Dept’s over enthusiastic “loyalty” to BOP their indoctrination, uncritical partisan and adversarial stance; when it raised it’s ugly head upon first seeing Ms. Moody (a recent BOP psych recruit and an apparent BOP zealot) Proudly donning the BOP blazer with BOP swastika/”Moniker” on the left front of her chest. Knowing she’s new and as clueless her veteran colleagues, who also wear our oppressor’s uniform; though it is not mandatory, but a personal preference instead of prison khakis (that is sure to cause BOP/ psych dept. ostracism) they do not care how it offends us (their “patients”) whom they are employed to “help”.


I tentatively pointed this out to Ms. Moody, after asking if she’ll be worthless as her predecessors or actually be here to help us. With all the sincerity of a car salesman she told me what I wanted to hear…causing another lost beat of “hope” to pound in my hopeless heart! Which was intensified seeing her dressed a couple of times later without flashing any BOP imperious signs. Sadly, the last two times I saw her, she was wearing her BOP jacket. That she “paid good money for” and brandishing the BOP’S black, skull buster steel balls on each end; known as “rib splitters”; because they’re taught to jab into our torsos (after they chain us down on a cement block of cement, naked!)it will ricochet, so it wont break a rib but slips into soft flesh and cause unnoticeable damage and excruciating pain!


While lying in this helpless position; the sadists don’t miss their opportunity to force open our eyelids and spray mace into our nostrils, mouths and genitals… inflicting an immediate burning sensation! I have heard some prisoners are sodomized with batons and  almost all, I have known were left to piss and shit on ourselves, suffer hunger pains when C.O.’s log in, they say they have fed us, but fail to add; we were not able to eat since they set a food tray or a “bag lunch” on the floor, since it’s an empty cell with a block of cement, set in the middle of the floor and did not even uncuff a hand so we can eat.


These specially designed torture chambers resemble an eerie Frankenstein movie scene; except; the dark melancholy is absent instead it is shattered by bright blinding white ceiling lights, entombed in walls painted white/light tan to intensify sensory collision! Coupled with callous, refrigerated temperatures or so it feels, after lying motionless for hours days, weeks! Along with suffering itches you can’t scratch, unprotected assaults by insects feasting on the living carcass served to them on a grave slab… instead of a silver platter, sealed in isolation, feeling helplessness, haunted by uncertainty, terrifying speculation… “If they are capable and authorized to get away with this…what, pray-tell, lurks next in the torpid minds of prisoncrats who embrace the barbarous act as a valid excruciation for denounced ADX prisoners?”  


These cruel ice boxes are not reserved only for punishment. The psych dept. subjects mentally ill suicidal

prisoners to the same ordeal; when men start to crack under the pressure of immurement! Revealing the institutionalized/unrestrained barbarism executed by the custody and Psych tentacles of this flesh devouring monster.


But who would logically think to subjugate a person already cracking, to intensifying the causation, will ease their desire to end their pain?  It definitely prevents further means of self-destruction/mutilation; which is certainly a legitimate concern, but at what price? Just so the witless keepers can pat each other on the ass, for temporarily disrupting the relief sought from the agony engorging them, while ignoring its source… that they all deny exists, so they’re not responsible.


Then they have the amentia to “punish” us, when we finally succumb to the pressure and try to end it. How dare we spit out what they so self-righteously force feed us! Exposing this insufferable situation; its schizoid of BOP to build ADX; designed specifically to bury their “worst of the worst” alive and actually herald its draconian/subhuman architecture and oppressive “security” extremes. Yet, when the condemned “crack” under its insanity, they act surprised… then negate any and all accountability, in fact, blame or dismiss our fallibility. Torture souls and the mentally ill aren’t stupid, so say and do whatever the psychologists want to hear to escape their “ice box treatment” …So of course after a few days of intense psychological torture, that they’re able to endure their living nightmare.


That is partly why many are repeat offenders. And why the FBI supposedly doesn’t condone “torture”

techniques; they do not work because the information obtained isn’t reliable.


What I am emphasizing isn’t a profound revelation. I noted earlier, it’s been proven since America’s first penitentiary; designed to entomb prisoners. The problem now; is like the tobacco companies C.E.O.s, who tried to deny smoking causes cancer. BOP C.E.O’s and their hired lackeys; deny their methodology is injurious to prisoners/people. How much psychological damage will ADX prisoners endure before they heed historical lessons?


I fear, no time soon is their answer. Since all BOP hired guns are required to participate in BOP’s routine “training” (brain washing indoctrination) sessions, that instructs them (along side C.O’s) guard duties. Why else are medical Doctors, nurses, psychologists, educators, culinary, religious service, facilities and office staff etc. are required, when ordered, to man a gun tower, kill an escapee, shake down cells, escort prisoners etc etc.


We don’t socialize with C.O.’s, they are not  our neighbors, colleagues, our kids don’t play together, go to school, church, shopping, ballgames, carpool nor exchange Christmas gifts with each other etc.; like those on BOP’s gravy train do.  So it’s a fallacy to dismiss the gradual assimilation that transpires, especially as months become years. So is it any wonder non-custody lackeys transpose into BOP clones?  I have never seen any BOP inductee wear our khaki shirts, but they all wear our oppressors’ uniform. I have also seen them escort prisoners and do shake down of cells. This slap in our face exposes their true character. As Jon Kabat-Zinn pointed out, even his white coat was an impediment; even though it’s expected of physicians. He understood his clientele well enough to avoid foreseen controversy and how he would likely be perceived.


How clueless is a psychologist to not automatically realize that one of the most suspicious things psychology personnel can do can do; if he/she want to establish trust/rapport within prison walls is to flaunt our tormentors’ patch of oppression and wield their whip (baton) this cabal of self serving B.O.P. prisoncrats reek throughout this infectious organism. All anyone has to do to verify this is look into 1. ADX disciplinary  and 2. Administrative remedy records to see we seldom, if ever, win one, regardless of it’s merits. “Policy”: is used by the collaborators of the cabal as an “alibi” regardless of what they are accused of; they inevitably refer to “policy” to vouch for their deceit.

Example of conspicuous collaboration:

Once my ex-counselor, Mr. Foster,  brought my regular mail (my mail can only be picked up and delivered by my  unit team, unlike other prisoners.) I noticed a “legal” letter that had been opened and not stamped. (legal mail, must be opened in front of me, stamped and I sign a log book for it) I showed it to him and requested a “B.P.8 (complaint form) When he returned his response (he in fact was the investigating officer assigned to do it) he regurgitated their standard plotted reply to all my consistent mail complaints. “You mail is processed according to policy” Though he’s the one that brought the mail and eye witnessed it had already been opened.


This exact response was repeated following the next three appellant levels;  i.e.; B.P.9, 10, 11; Warden, regional director and BOP director in Washington.


Since it’s usually our word against theirs and it’s their B.O.P. Klan members who adjudicate our disciplinary reports and grievances etc. (not our family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, co-conspirators)  is  it unfathomable to question why we seldom get our pleas rectified in our behalf.


This repeated refusal of BOP to acknowledge any and all transgressions add to our frustration, resentment, hopelessness etc. When justice is denied and grievances fall on deaf ears.


Check out how BOP out shrink the shrinks: Before they even begin employment here, they’re privy to ADX ‘s stigmatization, that BOP constantly propagates publically. All tyrannical regimes create their own horror landmarks, as a warning to its populace, that’s where they’ll send the unfavorable if you dare disobey.


First: BOP built Alcatraz and when it closed; they replaced it with U.S.P. Marion then after Marion started to generate too much public scrutiny they changed its security level and built ADX

There’s a few very incriminating litigations in court now that is sure to rip the mask off this monster; BOP is building its replacement. Actually they already have several populated but they need a crown jewel to show off… reserved for only “the worst of the worst”. Please define meaning; who defines it?*




“Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it and eventually they will believe it” ~ Adolph Hitler~


So when BOP tells the gullible clergy, psyche dept, Dr.s etc. that they must arm themselves since we’re all so “dangerous” that we can attack at any time for no rhyme or reason; they think whatever they are told to think and piss their pants/panties on cue even though we’re never, ever in unrestrained contact with them. But in the petrifying shock of hype and scare tactics; “Reality” is irrelevant; it’s the perception BOP instills in them that matter, since a person’s perception is their reality.


Predictably; since they’re never near us unfettered; there’s no way we’re able to alter their perception. Realistically, unless you have the courage and intelligence of a Jane Goodall, to find out for yourself; as “experts” who feared actually going into a jungle to mingle with gorilla families, to discover they won’t attack unless provoked; as “experts” had  proclaimed. You are inclined to be biased, while “treating” men you fear will harm you without a steel door and gate of bars between you.

“People do not believe lies because they have to, but because they want to” ~Malcolm Muggeridge~

 * A child molester/killer or a so called “gang member” who kills their enemy within prison- not an innocent woman/child, yet the child/woman/rapist/killers are not deemed “the worst of the worst” and sent here

 “My kind of loyalty was to one’s country, not it’s institutions or officeholders. The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over and care for, be loyal to; institutions are extraneous, they are its mere clothing and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable, cease to protect the body from winter, disease and death. ~Mark Twain~


“Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will” ~Frederick Douglas~


“You can’t change a problem…with the same mentality that caused it” ~ Albert Einstein~


“Bad precedent always began with justifiable measures” ~Unknown~


“Shrinks should understand their subjects before they try to shrink them” ~ Tom Silverstein~


The End

Tom Silverstein


September 5th, 2013


Update: September 13th 2013


Ms. Moody was recently with the Unit C.O. passing out food trays. Apparently, she found a job she’s actually qualified for and wearing her BOP jacket, like a good and obedient lackey; laughing and joking with our oppressor. When she looked at me; I turned away in disgust… not so much for her, but as an ex-bank robber/killer; I realize sometimes we have to do whatever it takes to survive. But turned in disgust at the transparent sham occurring, at the expense/ deprivation; of real professional help!!




























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