Tommy Silverstein the bitter end

It is bitter and agonizing. They kept him shackled until the bitter end.

Medical staff asked if he could be uncuffed, they got a resounding no.

Our last conversation he told me he kept insisting on his results, to which one C.O.

replied "Why you afraid to die?" He sent same conversation to his cousin, he was in pain couldn't breathe...

Then there was no more communication from him after January 19th, until I got a call

from ADX Tom's unit manager Mr. Charles Porco, saying Tom was not recovering from surgery(that I didn't even know he had) I flew to Denver saw him the 27th, he was not awake, I spoke to his surgeon, Tom had had a heart attack the surgeon said he was full of blood his heart bleeding so badly; I could only stay 24 hours.

Then steady updates from Laura Rovner until May 6th he had deteriorated so much, once again I went to Denver, I saw him the 9th, BOP graciously gave me 2 hours, he desperately tried to communicate, signing "COP, COP, COP" in the 1st visit hour 9-10am, he mouthed words but could not speak because of trachea. His hand pulling mine was surprisingly strong which gave me hope. 

But the afternoon 2-3pm he still trying to mouth words I told him "I love you forever and always he mouthed "forever" then he just could only sign "PAIN, PAIN, PAIN" 

I told him I had to go; he motioned me closer and was able to raise his head a bit as I strained over the bed, just enough for a kiss him good-bye

 Tom listed me as his next-of-kin, so with only kind support has been from Laura Rover I wait on the BOP.

Tommy died May 11th, then BOP coroner has to identify body, then his handlers at ADX can release his body.

Now day 3 dawning more waiting on the BOP, so I can make the arrangements

it is the final story of Tommy Silverstein strongest person I have ever known.

Tommy was not a footnote in my life, but the love of my life, and I his, Forever and Always.

©Renee Silverstein

After all this I wrote a few weeks back, I'm still waiting on BOP. I finally was able to sign all the documents May 17th. The 16th the prison could not even tell me where his body was, but I found him on my own. So during these weeks wanting to grieve for Tommy there is no closure there is still much to do.